The WISIWYG Blog

I was the assigned speaker for our company's morning meeting last Thursday. So the night before that, I was busy searching through my email inbox looking for some forwarded mail that may be worth sharing. Sadly, I discovered that most of the messages in my yahoo!mail inbox has already been shared on previous meetings.

30 minutes through my hopeless search, however, an idea popped into my mind, thanks to my noisy housemates. While searching for a topic on the web, I overheard them arguing about something, and none of them would want to lose over the other. So at that very minute, I decided that my topic would be something about winning in an argument.

While searching for the content of my speech, I found this crazy advice from one site. I found it funny, so while it doesn't seem to be too much of a help on serious arguments, I still shared it as my speech because, well, I found it worth sharing.

So here is the copy of the speech I delivered last Thursday entitled "How to Win an Argument."

I argue very well. Ask any one of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

Drink Liquor

Suppose you're at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date; but if you drink several large martinis (or a case of Black Ice), you'll discover you have strong views about the Peruvian economy. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

Make Things Up

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that you are underpaid and you're damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. Don't say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452. per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."

Note: Always make up an exact figure. If the opponent asks you where you got your information, make that up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom?"

Use Meaningless but Weighty-Sounding Words and Phrases

Memorize this list:

• Let me put it this way
• In terms of
• Vis-a-vis
• Per se
• Qua
• So to speak

Q.E.D., e.g., and i.e. These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not."

Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say: "Peruvians would like to order more appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."

You never win arguments talking like that. But you will win if you say: "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Use Snappy and Irrelevant Comebacks

You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

• "You're begging the question."
• "You're being defensive."
• "Don't compare apples and oranges."
• "What are your parameters?"

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what parameters means.

Here's how to use your comebacks:

You say, "As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873..."
Your opponent says, "Lincoln died in 1865."
You say, "You're being defensive."

Compare Your Opponent to Adolf Hitler

This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say" or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

So that's it. You know how to out-argue anybody. But do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.

Note: The content of the speech is not original. All of it were taken from the article posted on this site: http://www.transdimnav.com/argument.shtml

Image Credit: newsday.com

"New Year's Day falls on a Saturday." That's according to my grandfather when we visited their home for the clan's annual reunion. He's old and most of the time, he doesn't know what he is talking about. But just now, I am inclined to believe in his "New Year's Day falls on a Saturday" claim. Why? Because it gives me an excuse for posting my New Year's Resolution in this site a bit late.

Now, forward to the list. This year, I'm aiming to hit 9 goals. I think I aimed for too many last year and as a result, I failed a lot in making them become realities. Well, nine goals/resolutions are still quite numerous; but what can I do if 9 is the only fitting number that I can think of as part of the title? ;)

Well, so much for the introduction. Listed below are the nine things I want to achieve for the year 2009.

1. 50K at my bank account by the end of 2009. Probably not too much compared to many of my friends’. Some of them can easily save double the amount at half the time. But for a person like me who doesn't even have a bank account, save the ATM account provided by our company for our monthly salary, it would already be an achievement. My first stop: find a bank that I can create a new account with.
2. Pass the PhilNITS SW Exam. I failed last year, so I would be trying again this year. I crammed for last year's exam. Having no real time for studying due to busy work schedules, I crammed studying the day before the exam. The results were not too bad, however. I passed two parts of the exam, but badly failed on one part. Had the circumstances been different, however, I think could have passed the examination. So for this year, I would start by working towards changing the circumstances I was in last year.
3. Pass the JLPT Level 2 Exam. Of the three exams I planned to pass last year, I was only able to take two and failed in both. One of those exams is the JLPT Level 2 exam. And as with the PhilNITS exam, I would also be trying to reverse my fortunes this year. I miserably failed in the exam last year due to laziness--I failed to follow the study plan that I created.  Well, I can also blame my study plan; it was a bit too ambitious. So for this year, I would be creating a more realistic study plan and try harder in following it.
4. Zero tardiness for 2009. 2008 would be the worst year for me when it comes to punctuality. I also aimed for zero tardiness last year and I had been doing fine until the last day of the first quarter. In the three quarters that followed, my office tardiness slowly swelled to its worst. I blame it on the snooze functionality of my cellphone. Hehe. And to solve this problem, I would be aiming for a new cellphone this year. Hmmm. Haha. Joke! But it's not a bad idea either. I think it's worth a consideration. :p
5. 4 blog entries per month. I nearly hit 1 entry per month last year, only failing to post one for December. But that was hardly my goal last year. I think I was aiming for two posts per week—one post for The WISIWYG Blog and another for Dinozilla. But then again, I was too busy procrastinating that I forgot I had a goal. And blame it also to the inspiration that never came when my hands were itching to write something. So for this year, I'll just forget about timing. Whenever the inspiration comes, I would grab a pen and write.
6. A comfortable body by the end of 2009. This is far from being a S.M.A.R.T. goal, but who cares! :D I just don't have a good definition of what a comfortable body is. And as of posting time, I still have no idea as to what actions I would take to make this a reality, or if this is even achievable. See, I was aiming to lose 10 pounds per month last year, only ending up registering 10 more pounds compared to my APE weight last 2007. So allow me to be vague for now, and let me plan and try out different things continuously until mid-year.
7. Watch more movies. I can't remember what the last movie I have watched in a cinema was. Spiderman 3? Pirates of the Caribbean 3? It's either of the two, and I can't tell if it was shown last year or way back in 2007. I haven't been watching a movie. I have missed even the great ones that I planned to watch. Blame it again on my busy work schedule. So this year, I must try hard to make my weekends MY WEEKENDS! I must finish all my work during the weekdays so that the Saturdays and the Sundays would be all mine to enjoy.
8. Read 1 book per month. When I was new in the company, right after my ACTION training, I used to spend weekends reading fiction novels. We had no TV then and I had no computer, so my weekend activities would just be limited to strolling at the mall and reading a book. And since going to the mall tended to be quite expensive, I often opted for the cheaper option: reading. Though I have no TV set for almost a year now, that old habit of mine never came back. Maybe because I have other forms of entertainment right now, thanks to my laptop computer. But I still want to read books. And my action plan for that: Just READ!
9. Become closer to God. I can't remember how many Sunday masses I was able to attend last year. And I also can’t remember how many times I have opened the Bible last year. For both, however, I am sure that if I can count every instance, it would be less than the number of fingers I have on my hands. So for this year, I would try to be closer to God by re-familiarizing myself with His Words. I used to feel close to Him when I was in high school, but my relationship with Him started to deteriorate during my college years. So for this New Year, I would try to regain that wonderful relationship I had with God. My life was really happy back then when I was still close to Him.

So that's it for the 9 things I plan to achieve for the year 2009. Many of the goals were copied from the 2008 version of this post. Hopefully, I can finally realize them this year. And I hope the new one's would be realized just as well. I hope they would not start eating dust by the end of the year's first quarter, just as what happened last year. Either way, I promise that I would try very hard to make all of the 9 a reality.

So that's it for my 2009 goals. I hope all of you have a list too, and I hope I can read them as well.

And while this may be a bit late, I would like to wish all of you a Happy and Prosperous New Year!!!